Scandal – Jack Cashill Column Ghost Written by Michelle Obama

Jack Cashill, the local crackpot mostly known for his amusing fantasy that someone other than the President wrote the books that the President wrote, has been caught in a remarkably similar conspiracy. A recent column in Ingrams magazine caught this literary detective’s eye as being something far beyond the literary talent, logical skills and scope of knowledge possessed by our favorite local conspiracy nut.

They say that the first step in detecting an artistic fraud is to step back and take an overall look at the object – you’ll notice that something special is missing. And if you step back and take an overall look at Cashill’s article, you’ll notice that it lacks his usual spittle-flecked rabidity. He proposes that we encourage walking from downtown to Crown Center, instead of paying for light rail. Nowhere does he complain that Bill Ayers is responsible, and the word “Kenya” doesn’t even make it onto the page. It’s like Cashill without the “ill”.

Looking more closely, you’ll notice that he employs references that would never occur to the real Jack Cashill. He claims that in New York, “I walked from Rockefeller Center to the Metropolitan Museum of Art,” an obviously elitist reference that could only come from Michelle Obama and not Jack Cashill. What would our Jack do at the Met (other than perhaps examining Monets for evidence of photoshopping)?

We can safely attribute this work to Michelle Obama because it reflects her dictatorial socialistic approach toward encouraging exercise. Cleverly, s/he avoids using the actual word “exercise”, which is an obvious left-wing dog-whistle word, but s/he does slip up and claim that the walking zone needs retail, “but this should happen naturally.” “Naturally” is not a word that would “naturally” come to the pen of a hard-line rightwinger like Jack Cashill.

It’s obvious that Jack Cashill is guilty of the very same literary fraud he claims that Obama committed. Let’s hope that his new path of committing the very crimes he sees in his delusions passes quickly, or we may see him shooting bottle rockets at airliners. Perhaps it was just a desperate grab for the attention he has long craved.

9 Responses to “Scandal – Jack Cashill Column Ghost Written by Michelle Obama”

  1. Mike says:

    Snarky and small, Dan – at odds with your usual well-reasoned arguments. Ad hominem attacks? Why not dissect the Cashill argument point by point and counter his insightful arguments with your own?

    But you opted to call him a “local crackpot” instead. Good one.

  2. gonemild says:

    I see your point, but, really, I don’t think his “theories” are worthy of that much attention or effort. Satire is perhaps not as intellectually pure an approach as thorough analysis, but it beats having to explain in many pages exactly why his laughable “computer analysis” is hokum. Plus, you really can’t win an argument with a conspiracy theorist, because they can make up another level to the conspiracy. Witness the people who weren’t satisfied by Obama’s birth certificate – including Cashill.

  3. Mo Rage says:

    I thought I was the only one in town who thought Mr. Cashill to be the rabid, Right-Wing lunatic he is.

    Thanks for the reassurance.

  4. Nick says:

    Cashill’s just a greedy jackass.

    And not all that earthshattering with his ‘discoveries’. Why, back in Jnauary of this year I outed President Obama as having been to Mars in 1980 as part of a CIA remote viewing team, and did you see ME go out and write a book just to line my pockets?

    Noooo…

    …uh…ah.

    Hmm.

    Let me think about this.

  5. Jack in the Box says:

    Nice shot.

    Did he hit on your wife? That would be about the only believable explanation for “Gone Mild” transforming into “Dan Gone Wild.”

    If his theories aren’t worthy of your attention, then why discuss them? Is it because this is personal? Perhaps not, but it sure sounds like a playground argument.

  6. gonemild says:

    Nothing personal, just astounded that he manages to be so wrong for so long on so many topics, and that people still pay attention to him. He’s a media presence – not just a goofy uncle that everyone avoids.

  7. Care to back that last statement up with any facts about his wrongness?

  8. gonemild says:

    Kansas Citian – Sure – he’s wrong about the President’s authorship, he’s wrong on his birtherism, he’s wrong on the airplane getting shot down, and he’s wrong on almost everything except the folly of light rail.

  9. Anon 1234 says:

    Dan

    Curious to hear your thoughts on the CCP endorsements this year

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