Jack Cashill, the local crackpot mostly known for his amusing fantasy that someone other than the President wrote the books that the President wrote, has been caught in a remarkably similar conspiracy. A recent column in Ingrams magazine caught this literary detective’s eye as being something far beyond the literary talent, logical skills and scope of knowledge possessed by our favorite local conspiracy nut.
They say that the first step in detecting an artistic fraud is to step back and take an overall look at the object – you’ll notice that something special is missing. And if you step back and take an overall look at Cashill’s article, you’ll notice that it lacks his usual spittle-flecked rabidity. He proposes that we encourage walking from downtown to Crown Center, instead of paying for light rail. Nowhere does he complain that Bill Ayers is responsible, and the word “Kenya” doesn’t even make it onto the page. It’s like Cashill without the “ill”.
Looking more closely, you’ll notice that he employs references that would never occur to the real Jack Cashill. He claims that in New York, “I walked from Rockefeller Center to the Metropolitan Museum of Art,” an obviously elitist reference that could only come from Michelle Obama and not Jack Cashill. What would our Jack do at the Met (other than perhaps examining Monets for evidence of photoshopping)?
We can safely attribute this work to Michelle Obama because it reflects her dictatorial socialistic approach toward encouraging exercise. Cleverly, s/he avoids using the actual word “exercise”, which is an obvious left-wing dog-whistle word, but s/he does slip up and claim that the walking zone needs retail, “but this should happen naturally.” “Naturally” is not a word that would “naturally” come to the pen of a hard-line rightwinger like Jack Cashill.
It’s obvious that Jack Cashill is guilty of the very same literary fraud he claims that Obama committed. Let’s hope that his new path of committing the very crimes he sees in his delusions passes quickly, or we may see him shooting bottle rockets at airliners. Perhaps it was just a desperate grab for the attention he has long craved.