Are Soccer Fans the Most Obnoxious People on Earth?

What the hell is it with those people?

The World Cup games in South Africa sound like they are being played inside a hornets’ nest, with a constant drone of horns continuing throughout the entire game. The horns are vuvelezas – cheap plastic trumpets that any clear-thinking person would blow only during moments of celebration, if at all. But, unfortunately, the South African crowds deem it clever to blow the things as a constant noise, no matter what is going on down on the field.

But my scorn isn’t reserved solely for the vuvulezas and the South Africans. Closer to home, what is the deal with people throwing junk on the field? After every goal, knuckleheads in the crowd will throw rolls of toilet paper onto the field. You’ll have a dozen or more long streamers of toilet paper polluting the field, even at a Wizards game. And they don’t stop play to have the crew clean it up, or for security to throw the throwers out of the stadium.

What the heck? You don’t throw stuff onto a field of play! If you do, you get kicked out of the place. (Ice hockey’s an exception – hat tosses happen everywhere, Detroit sees its share of octopi, and don’t ask about Sweden.) There’s no reason to TP the stadium just because your team scores a goal – it’s visually distracting for the rest of the game.

I hope this blog post will help football (soccer) fans worldwide do a better job of living up to my expectations.

8 Responses to “Are Soccer Fans the Most Obnoxious People on Earth?”

  1. Chimpotle says:

    It's tradition. It's how it is. Why are you complaining about toilet paper when fans have thrown lit flares onto the field?

  2. Dan says:

    I hadn't seen that. Crazy.

  3. Xavier Onassis says:

    More evidence that people who find sports entertaining are not exactly rocket scientists.

  4. Anonymous says:

    "It's tradition. It's how it is."

    Maybe so, but I could put an end to that tradition with a couple burly ushers. What kind of douche packs toiler paper in his girly fanny pack so he can "spontaneously" celebrate a goal by fucking up the field?

  5. Melinda says:

    Interesting…I've not seen anything being thrown onto the field. We were at a game in Munich, Germany, and nothing of the sort happened until we were outside and plastic cups and urine were everywhere.

    I heard they're trying to ban those trumpets for the World Cup…I hope they succeed but am doubtful.

  6. les says:

    Dan, you're veering dangerously close to "get offa my lawn" territory. That said, the horns do sound obnoxious. Heh, heh.

  7. HomeBrewHawk says:

    I had to turn of the sound on Sunday. It was making me crazy. Of course when I watch a Wizards game, I watch the Spanish channel. I don't know what they are saying but at least they make it sound exciting.

  8. Anonymous says:

    "those" people? hmmm . . .

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